I was so scared. I was twenty-five years old, but I felt sixteen. I was so unsure. I was unsure about everything. I didn’t know if I was ready to have a family. I wasn’t sure if I could live and love your dad for the rest of my life. I remember staring at him, as he sat at his desk, wondering if I was ready. I knew I loved him, but I didn’t know if that was enough. I knew I had always wanted to be a mom, but I didn’t know if I wanted to be one right then. And I was scared to tell my parents. As silly as it seems, I didn’t want them to know I was having sex!
Every single possibility ran through my head. I thought about running back to the United States (I was in England when I found out I was pregnant), and never telling your father. I thought about running away and not telling anyone anything. I didn’t know what to do. It took me two weeks to get the nerve to tell your father.
Getting pregnant with you was the biggest surprise and the luckiest thing that has ever happened to me. I’m so thankful that I trusted your father, that I trusted myself, and just went with it. Your dad is my best friend and I couldn’t imagine spending my life without him. You have been the greatest gift and you have brought so much joy to our lives. I feel like we all grew up together 🙂