How to REALLY Help Someone After They’ve Had a Baby, According to an OB Nurse

  • Take their other kids somewhere.  Anywhere, just get them out of their house. It’s so much harder when you have to tend to a new baby and to your other kids. So take out her other children as often as you can!  Your goal should be to bring them back exhausted and fed.  Just saying.
  • Bring food. And I mean food that comes in a disposable pan or food that you can dump in a crock pot. Do not bring anything that she’ll have to wash and worry about getting back to you.

Robin Williams In 'Mrs. Doubtfire'

  • Fork over the money for a stranger to clean their house.  Best. Gift. Ever. But you have to pay for someone else to come clean their house, you can’t be the one to do it. There is no way in hell I’d feel comfortable watching a friend clean my house and sort my dirty laundry. Or put things away in my drawers. Who knows what they’d find! But I wouldn’t feel guilty lying around in my pajamas, nursing a new baby, while watching a stranger clean up my hot mess.
  • Watch their baby while they take a nap. Before coming over, you have to say…I’m going to come over to watch your baby while you sleep. It doesn’t work if you just show up and say you’re going to do it, because then you play the “on-no-I’m-fine” game.
  • Recognize signs of postpartum depression. Although it’s common for women to have “Baby Blues,” it can quickly turn into postpartum depression. If you begin to notice that a new mom does not really want to take care of herself or her baby, encourage her or her family to seek additional help. Be on the lookout for tell-tell signs that moms might need a little extra help.
  • Get them out of the house. Sometimes both mom and baby just need to get out of the house. Find a way to encourage everyone to get some fresh air, even if it’s just to take a walk around the neighborhood.
  • Be extra attentive if their baby has any sort of issue – I watched a friend’s baby once that had really bad reflux. After watching her all day, I thought “there is no way her mom doesn’t need more help than she’s letting on.” Her baby was so much work! So if a baby has any other issue that makes them a little harder to handle, try to go out of your way to help them—they may really need it!
  • Go to the grocery store for her. Or watch her baby while she goes to the grocery store. I really enjoyed this after I had my baby. I spent two hours at the store once, and when I came home, my friend was like “and you only came back with some apples?!?” But it was so nice just walking around a familiar place with no one to feed or hold…

lucille-bluth

  • Make a sign for their door that says ‘Baby Sleeping.’ It never fails…you just put the baby to bed and FexEx or UPS or your neighbor comes over and rings your doorbell, waking up the baby. I always wanted to make a sign, but somehow, I never got around to it :/ I can’t count how many times I’ve given someone the evil-eyeball for just ringing the doorbell.  Somewhere out there, there’s a group of Girl Scout’s that will never knock on my door again…
  • Always come with a package of diapers or wipes. Let’s be honest, none of our kids need more cute clothes! But you know they’re going to go through those diapers like they’re not $46.00 a box. A less expensive alternative? Bring wipes! You end up using them for everything from wiping a baby’s bottom to wiping up a spill in your car to wiping the makeup off your own hand when you’re in a hurry and can’t find your foundation brush. Always a useful gift!

 

Until my next delivery ❤

 

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Categories: After Delivery, For Patients..., For the Support People, Newborn Information

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

21 replies

  1. As a Girl Guide leader, I can tell you those Girl Scouts will be back. lol Maybe not the exact same ones but the new ones that join the troop in future years! lol

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Another wonderfully useful gift is paper plates and plastic utensils! They may not look like much, but it’s sooo nice not to have wash dishes everyday. Take enough for at least two weeks, preferably a month!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wonderful ideas. I always go over a list like this when teaching postpartum.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great ideas here. I will be better about not bringing real dishes for the casseroles and stews, only disposable (even though it goes agains my beliefs). And bringing wipes!

    Like

  5. I absolutely could not agree with this more! After having my 2nd baby 2 yrs ago, I came home to a house that was a wreck, no groceries and just total chaos. Although I already had a child, they are 8 yrs apart and it was shocking how stressed I felt when we arrived home. I was exhausted from no sleep during our nearly 3 day stay at the hospital and my house was a disaster and I didn’t know where to begin. My mom came over and offerred to help clean and when I declined, she instead took care of the baby while I got some cleaning done. Also- my husband asked my MIL to bring us food…so she dropped off a hot dinner from the local grocery store. You would be shocked at how helpful the little things are!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I tell my patients to get a Pinterest page and post their recipes they want their friends to cook – just so they don’t end up with 7 pans of lasagna in 1 week. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  7. come over to help not hold the baby . as soon as u walk in say “dont worry about me i will be in kichen cleaing.cooking or doing lounry “…bring over food,take pics for mom..or take other kids out for fun or even walk ..

    Liked by 2 people

  8. My church signs up on mealtrain. That way you can see what other people bring and the family puts in dates they’d like food.

    Like

  9. http://www.takethemameal.com is a great and easy way to organize meals for a mom. You can even send a meal from a local restaurant.

    Like

Trackbacks

  1. 5 Reasons Why You Should NOT Visit a New Mom in the Hospital, According to an OB Nurse | Adventures of a Labor Nurse
  2. 8 Tips for Any Woman Expecting a NICU Baby | Adventures of a Labor Nurse
  3. 10 Signs You’re the Parent of a Newborn | Adventures of a Labor Nurse
  4. What an OB Nurse Wishes She Could Tell Someone About Being Pregnant | Adventures of a Labor Nurse
  5. What an OB Nurse Wishes She Could Tell Someone About Being Pregnant – Adventures of a Labor Nurse
  6. 8 Tips for Any Woman Expecting a NICU Baby – Adventures of a Labor Nurse

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