5 Reasons Why You Should NOT Visit a New Mom in the Hospital, According to an OB Nurse

No one knows more than a labor and delivery nurse that everyone loves a baby.  I’m sure your intentions are good, but here are just a few reasons why it’s not a good idea to visit a new mom while she’s still in the hospital. And this is not intended for everyone!  Of course, if you’re part of her immediate family or if you’re her BFF, this doesn’t apply to you.  A good way to think about it—Would she get angry at you for not visiting her in the hospital?  If the answer is no, then save your visit for when she’s at home 🙂

She just had a baby! – But that’s why you wanted to go in the first place, right?!? Well, sometimes labors are long and hard, and sometimes they’re short and hard, but either way…they’re hard work. After delivery, it’s almost a guarantee that a new mom will be hungry and tired and worn out. When you’re exhausted, do you feel like talking to people?! And on top of that, imagine your who-ha hurting and bleeding and hemorrhoids and…you get the picture. And the baby is brand new. If you’re any kind of sick, you should stay away!

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She’s exhausted – Unless you fall into the immediate family/BFF category, no woman wants to entertain you while she’s tired and sore and needing to sleep any minute she can. And that’s the truth…any spare minute she has, she should be resting or bonding with her new baby, without interruptions or distractions.

She’s probably trying to breastfeed – A lot of women don’t feel comfortable breastfeeding in public. I’m not one of those women, but I see this all the time.  Many women don’t want to whip out a boob while they have guests in their room. I frequently have moms tell me “I’ll nurse after they leave.”  And then I make them leave 🙂 Because the baby needs to eat on their schedule, not ours…especially at the beginning.

She’s bonding with her baby – This is a special time for her whole family. This is an especially important time for the mother and her partner to bond with their new baby. Le them have their time at the hospital, they’ll never get that time back.

She needs visitors once she gets home – Frequently, all the visitors come while the mom is in the hospital, and then no one comes to see them once they’re home! That’s when she needs the most help and that’s when it’s important for her to socialize. Postpartum depression and baby blues do not usually show up while the mom is in the hospital. Make sure she’s okay once she goes home.

Things You SHOULD Do While Mom is Still in the Hospital:

How to REALLY Help Someone After They’ve Had a Baby, According to an OB Nurse

  1. Have someone clean her house so she comes home to a clean one.
  2. Send flowers, or anything edible to her hospital room.
  3. Watch her other kids while she’s still stuck in the hospital, so her support person can stay with her.
  4. Buy her other kids crafts or coloring books so they’ll stay busy when she returns.
  5. Stock her fridge with food and lots and lots of bottled water for her when she gets home.

Best advice? Ask the family what they’d prefer, and tell them to give you an honest answer.

Until my next delivery ❤

Categories: After Delivery, and After Pregnancy, Before, During, For the Support People, Random

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122 replies

  1. I didn’t have many visitors when I was in the hospital. When I was in labor my mother and boyfriend were there which was very helpful because she fed me ice chips because I was hot and my boyfriend held my hand. My best friend who was also her god mother came in before the pushing began to give me encouraging words and couldn’t wait to see baby, she stayed up with my father in the waiting room. I had a few visitors that came in like his mother, my aunt (that same morning after I had her because she was in town [it was nice to see her]) and then a friend of my family. When they came in, which was 1 each day, I’d go and sit in the bath tub while they helped with the baby along with letting me get some sleep and they talked quietly, and the nurses would come in and check on me and my baby. On my last night in the hospital I felt really lonely because my boyfriend had to go back to work so he wasn’t able to help me calm her down because she had tummy aches from wrong formula (I couldn’t breastfeed due to the medication I am on). When we got home to my parents, we had family come in slowly because we had family visiting from out of state and they asked in advance if they would be able to come see her. It helped me a lot so I didn’t go into postpartum depression because I had help from family that would keep my mind off of being really sore. My daughter slept through it all 🙂



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