Help your partner get as much sleep as possible – Lack of sleep can do weird things to a woman. Add fluctuating hormones to the mix, and it’s a recipe for disaster. Encourage your partner to rest any chance she can. Most women are multitaskers. If there are dishes to be done, or laundry that needs to be folded, a lot of women will have trouble resting when there’s something they can be doing. If at all possible, hire a cleaner to come once a week or at least once every two weeks. I promise you—it will be the best money you’ve ever spent. If this is just not in your budget, then do an extra job around the house that she normally takes care of and encourage her to go to her room and rest. And gently remind her that there’s always something that needs to be done. If anything has to be sacrificed, it should be the clean clothes sitting in the laundry basket at the bottom of the stairs, not her sanity. I think there’s this misconception that if a mother is not working outside of the home, her house should be tidy and she should selflessly tend to every need of her family. The truth is, this is exhausting, even if she is on maternity leave. And let’s face it, in the United States you’re lucky if you get a decent maternity leave. You basically blink and it’s over Cut her some slack. She just had a baby, she’s sleep deprived, and you can’t choose your baby—some of them cry all the time, some want to feed all the time, and they’re all just so needy!
You should not be expecting any kind of (that kind of action) 😉 – So it goes without saying, a baby either came out of her vagina or came out of her abdomen after major abdominal surgery. Give her a minute to heal! And by a minute, I mean 4-6 weeks, unless she tells you otherwise (some women “bounce” back quicker than others 😉 Talk to your partner, talk to her provider, and make the right decision for you and your family. Oh, and p.s. — there’s this widely held belief that women are most fertile after delivery 🙂
One of the most important things you can do for your baby is to support your partner’s breastfeeding goals – There are actual risks with giving a newborn formula. People don’t like to say the word “risks” because no one wants to put pressure on a new mom, but that’s the truth, there are risks to giving a baby formula. If a woman makes an educated decision about breastfeeding, then everyone should support that decision. But a lot of women give up trying to breastfeed just because they don’t have adequate support. If your partner will continue to breastfeed just by having you say a few encouraging words, that’s one of the easiest, best things you can do for your family. How can you help her? Voice your support before she has the baby to everyone—your wife, her physician or midwife, and her nurse. Make sure your partner and your baby get to experience immediate and uninterrupted skin-to-skin. Encourage her not to give up. Constantly praise her, and tell her she’s doing a great job. Continuously get her water to help her stay hydrated. Offer to be the baby bather if she’s the baby feeder 🙂 If she’s pumping, offer to wash the pump parts. Get her extra pillows to make her as comfortable as possible while she’s nursing (under the arm and behind the back is great!). But the best thing you can do is to just be supportive ❤ Here is a great website for dads on breastfeeding.
Everyone needs time to themselves – Find a way to give your partner a little “me-time.” For her, that may mean dinner and drinks with her friends (and yes, breastfeeding moms can have alcohol!). It may mean an extra long bath without kids poking their fingers through the bottom of the bathroom door. Maybe it means having a quiet house to herself for 30 minutes. Just realize that being a woman does not necessarily mean that she wants to devote every spare minute to the needs of her family or home. I knew I’d stay married to my husband forever because he would take our daughter for a really long walk and let me have an hour to watch trashy reality T.V. in my pajamas without a baby around that could smell my milk. << happy sigh >> The funny thing is…when you make sure you she gets time to herself, you will notice that she’s happier, calmer, and nicer to you! Just try it. You will see what I mean. And I bet she’ll “bounce” back a little quicker feeling rested and relaxed 😉
Until my next delivery ❤