Why Donald Trump Might — or Might Not — Make a Good Labor and Delivery Nurse

I am married to an attorney and I have a ten-year old who thinks she’s one.  We are a family that watches every single debate together. So here is the evidence that I have compiled to determine if Donald Trump would or would not make a good labor and delivery nurse 🙂

trump disgusted

He hates breastfeedingHe called opposing counsel in a deposition “disgusting” for wanting a break to express her breast milk for her infant daughter.  As a labor and delivery nurse, we know that breastfeeding is anything but disgusting. Breastfeeding is not only healthier, it’s normal. This isn’t a debate or an accusation. People make their own feeding choices and we support the decisions that they make, but we definitely shouldn’t be calling one of the most natural things in the world “disgusting.” Considering we spend a lot of time bent over a bed looking at nipples, and watching babies feed, he probably couldn’t last a minute of any golden hour.

trump pointing

In my world, women on their knees means one of two things: we have a baby that’s deceling and we may or may not be moments away from a STAT cesarean delivery or the woman is doing what their body tells them to do and they’re about to grunt-out a baby right in front of us on the floor.  But in 2013 on an episode of Celebrity Apprentice: All-Stars, Donald Trump mused about the “pretty picture” of former Playboy Playmate Brande Roderick “dropping to [her] knees.”  Ummm…this is totally not a thought that has every crossed our minds.  I wonder if he’d ever say that again after seeing a woman birth a baby on her hands and knees…

trump scared

He’s scared of blood.  When Donald Trump felt threatened by the female reporter Megyn Kelly, he said that he could see “there was blood coming out of her eyes–blood coming out of her wherever,” suggesting that is must have been her time of the month, which must have been behind her tough questioning.  But as a labor and delivery nurse, we know that blood isn’t what makes a woman angry or tough. Blood doesn’t phase us one bit.  We’ve seen it here, we’ve seen it there, we’ve kind of seen it everywhere.

trump - smug

Women need good sex appeal.  Donald Trump has supposedly mentioned that he thinks women need good sex appeal. Although I can admit that a little sex of something landed our patients in front of us 🙂 I do not think women need sex appeal. They need to be strong, they need to be smart, they need to be confident in their abilities as a woman…Women need to be good mothers, partners, and most importantly, people!  And we’re witness to all the magical powers of women every single day we go to work.

trump bath

He doesn’t think—or doesn’t want to know—that women go to the bathroom. Donald Trump says Clinton’s bathroom break during the debate is ‘too disgusting’ to talk about.  If he thinks that the fact that women have to pee is disgusting, I’d kind of love to see his face if he ever saw just how many places pregnant woman can go to the bathroom at! Don’t laugh, don’t sneeze, don’t jump please! and maybe or maybe not when you push…

trump - finger to head

He doesn’t want to “give” any spouse negotiable assets. – He once said he would never buy his wife (at the time) any “negotiable assets.”  But he has had children—the biggest “negotiable asset” of them all!  No one knows more than a labor nurse that people go ga-ga over a baby.

trump shhh

He is good at telling people to stop interrupting him. – Labor nurses wouldn’t dare tell anyone to stop interrupting them or to pay attention. But Donald Trump repeatedly told Carly Fiorina to “stop interrupting” him during the start of the campaign. I wonder how well that would work in our world…

trump thumbs up

He doesn’t believe that women are the weaker sex – FINALLY! Something we can agree on…well, kind of 🙂 He was once quoted as saying that “women have one of the great acts of all time. The smart ones act very feminine and needy, but inside they are real killers. The person who came up with the expression ‘the weaker sex’ was either very naive or had to be kidding.” Although I can’t say I agree with his whole statement, I can say that I agree that anyone who thinks women are weak are very naive or just plain dumb. I have seen women give birth and know the strength the possess. They are definitely not the weaker sex!

Unfortunately (fortunately?!?) for us, I do not think Donald Trump will be suiting up in scrubs for a delivery any time soon. Lets hope he sticks to whatever he knows best…


Until my next delivery ❤

Categories: Random

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2 replies

  1. Sticks to what he knows best? It’s certainly not politics, or foreign policy. Or even business.

    How about he sticks to declaring bankruptcy? He’s done that several times with success.


  2. Haha! Thanks for the laugh this morning 🙂


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