Confessions of a Labor Nurse

I once seriously bought more socks because I was too tired to do laundry.

I once Febreezed my favorite scrubs because I didn’t want to wear the ones that felt tight.

I once signed up for call every single day I knew they were overstaffed so I could get the $36 of call pay p.s. I also signed up for call every other day because we were poor. lol

One time when I was working postpartum I totally did not know I had a patient until the end of the shift.  I mean, I never knew she was even assigned to me. Like I never saw her. Ummm, not even once.  p.s. thank God for small favors…she was supposed to be discharged that day, normal SVD, and I guess she never needed anything…

Once I was helping another nurse change a patient’s linens, and she accidently passed gas in the patient’s room.  The nurse looked so embarrassed, so I blamed the patient’s husband, who was still asleep.  Then the mother looked embarrassed, so I told her not to worry about it, that men could sometimes just be gross. lol

One time the call light was stuck and as I was yanking it, it suddenly became untangled and hit the patient in the head.

One time a grandmother missed getting a picture of the dad cutting the umbilical cord, so I made him reenact it on the warmer and then I dropped the camera on the baby.  Thank God it was a cell phone camera!

One time we had a labor nurse who came in to have her baby, and when we went to check her it smelled like cotton candy.  When we questioned this, she said she had used cotton-candy who-ha spray because she wanted it to smell like a circus down there 🙂 Now any time any of us go into labor we buy weird vagina sprays.

We’re not always busy in OB.  Once I made up a game called the Vagina Game.  I say “one, two, three, GO” and everyone says another name for the word ‘vagina.’  What I learned: OB nurses can get creative.

One time a postpartum nurse used a black sharpie to color in my gray hairs.

One time we ordered lunch and the restaurant got a nurse’s order wrong.  She got really angry and threw her taco across the break room, where it hit the wall and slid down, in slow-mo.

When Joint Commission came one year, one of our nurse’s was in labor and that was the day I did STRICT bedside charting.  I didn’t even leave to go to the bathroom.

One time a patient came in barely pregnant to triage to be assessed and couldn’t stop talking about the last time we saw each other.  Of course, I did not remember, so I gave my usual speech…”I never remember mom’s after delivery, because you come in like this (hand out to make a big belly) and now you’re like this (hand in to make a skinny belly).  It wasn’t until later that I realized I had not ever been her nurse before, we had gone to high school together

 

 

Until my next delivery ❤

 

 

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Categories: For Nurses..., Nursing Humor, Random

Tags: delivery, labor, nurse, nursing, OB, obstetrics